I believe I know you. You feel good most of the time and people think you really have your shit together. You may even be the person people come to you for help. However, you’re exhausted physically and mentally. Not the kind from being sleep deprived or running that marathon, or hauling kids to and from activities, but the kind of tired that comes with trying and trying and trying to maintain a bullsh*t facade that you’re fine.
The bullsh*t that you’re more than fine, you’re great.
You might even also be a little pissed off (or maybe a lot), resentful, frustrated, lonely, & tired of being praised for “being strong” when really you are feeling weak (and that's ok too). I know this all too well because I’ve been there. I spent over 30 years of my life doing all the things I just described, and to be honest, those are all things that brought me to self-sabotage my incredible f*cking amazing authenticity.
In 2015 I hit my rock bottom. I was jobless after being wrongfully terminated while on medical leave, in a messy legal battle with my former employer (which I won), divorcing my husband of 18 years, hardly had a dollar in my bank account, recovering from a unexpected hysterectomy, grieving the loss of two significant individuals in our life from tragic accidents, witnessing a tragic bicycling accident only to have the rider die in my hands, moving into the basement of my parents' home with three children, living off of anti-depressants, struggling with lifelong eating disorder that was creeping up on my ass, and trying my best to stay positive and supported to my children all who were having their own personal emotional and physical challenges. As I kneeled on the cold bathroom floor hovering the toilet for hours (it wasn't the first time, there were many hours spent like this over the years) because of the nausea, which was the onset from the debilitating anxiety attacks, I knew "I" needed to massively change (key word "I"). I was in the worst circumstance of my life, and I felt like my soul was dying. However, I had a tiny bit of hope and knew I was not meant to stay broken.
I was done trying to make everyone else happy by doing what everyone else says to do.
I was done tolerating and accepting relationships where I was treated like shit.
I was done hating myself and where I was.
I decided to take radical responsibility for my life.
I knew I wasn’t destined to feel like shit or put up with the bullsh*t.
I knew I was destined for something better–greatness even.
After many years of counseling prior to this pivotal moment, I sought out a journey that would be customized to me. I surrounded myself with coaches, mentors, leaders that have experienced the same or similar downfall and chose to get back up. They guided me on a path built by me so that I could begin to heal and live a life nearly free of perfectionism, control, isolation, people pleasing and approval seeking.
When I began this journey, gave thanks to the crap and wiped it away, things began to clean up really nice! Now that my life wasn't so stinky and has become my very own
No BullSh*t Life, I can't seem to ignore the feeling that there are others out there just like me. In fact, I know there is! I see it and hear every day. Maybe their hell isn't the same version as mine (of course it is not as my last name is Hell), but I am sure others are frustrated, exhausted, anxious, sick, and much more just like me for the sake of love, perfecting, proving, performing, controlling, isolating, and numbing. Not to mention constantly comparing themselves to others, thinking everyone else has their shit together except them.
YOU CAN too have a No BullSh*t Life once you nail down what yours looks like, start practicing it (every day) instead of practicing the shitty behaviors I mentioned, and your life will change.