For weeks leading up to the holiday season, we have been placing focus on the topic of personal boundaries. As the days of gathering with family, friends, and strangers come into full swing you may excited and happy or be experiencing some fear, anxiety, and pressure. Memories of the past that were hurtful can creep up on us as well as feelings of guilt, shame, and regret. Old habits that don't support living a BullSh*t Free Life will decide to make an appearance and begin to pose a threat to your personal boundaries you made a commitment to.
So, what can you do to protect your personal boundaries without compromising under the pressure of not just family and friends but yourself? Start by saying, screaming HELL NO! Then it is setting time aside to reflect and refresh our mindset.
Remind yourself the world is not a better place when you ignore your needs for the comfort of others. People who care about you want you to feel safe, so they won't expect you to sacrifice your comfort for theirs.
Remember you are allowed to set boundaries! Everyone has their own whether they were set consciously or unconsciously so there is no need to have guilt.
Reflect on moments that you have made you uncomfortable in the past and how establishing personal boundaries has helped you. This gives you an internal drive and motivation to stay committed to the boundaries.
Before walking into what may feel like a battlefield, take a seat, a breath, write out what your personal boundaries are, put them in your pocket, purse, wallet and reference them when things are getting tough. Boundaries help you stay focused on what's most important to you, your emotional and physical health.
If someone or something has happened that disrespected your personal boundaries, remove yourself quickly and quietly. Don't waste your energy on trying to explain, argue, or make noise. This will only cause more harm to yourself. Reacting with disrespect only fuels more disrespectfully energy. When someone accuses you of not moving forward because you are choosing to respect your boundaries, let them know kindly you are moving forward but differently.
Here are some affirmations that can strengthen your commitment to your personal boundaries:
I will not tolerate being used or taken for granted
I will not allow anyone else to control my emotions or dictate my actions
I will not allow anyone to disrespect me or make me feel inferior
I will not ignore my needs to meet other people's needs or expectations
I will not engage in behaviors that are harmful to myself and others
I will not let others make decisions for me or control me
I will not allow myself to be treated as an afterthought
Give yourself a holiday gift and protect your boundaries because YOU ARE WORTH IT!
ICF Certified Empowerment Coach
ICF Certified Organizational Development Coach
230 RYT Yoga Instructor